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The Relationship Between the Counsellor and the Client

By: Anna Martin - Updated: 14 Nov 2022 | comments*Discuss
 
Relationship Counsellor Counselling

Counselling is not only about exploring core issues and gaining a different perspective on problems and psychological difficulties. It is also about building a rapport and trust with the counsellor, so that a client feels comfortable enough to open up and voice their worries. This relationship is built on trust and confidentiality, and can make all the difference between a positive and negative counselling experience.

Behaviour Pattern

A counsellor will never impose their own values or beliefs on a client, and will remain impartial and non-judgmental. The counselling process is an opportunity for the client to explore their own values and beliefs, and to understand how to challenge him/herself to make positive changes in their life.

All counsellors are bound by a Code of Ethics and Practice, as well as by whichever professional body they belong to. The clauses state that:

  • No information is exchanged with a third party, unless with prior client consent.
  • The content of the meeting remains private and confidential.
  • In extreme circumstances, where the counsellor becomes concerned for the personal safety of the client, the client is informed that confidentiality may be broken. A Risk Help Plan can be created to provide additional support for the client.

Developing a Relationship

In order that the client feels comfortable in expressing him/herself in an uninhibited way, the relationship between the client and the counsellor needs to be built on reciprocal trust. It is the counsellor’s responsibility to provide a safe, confidential environment, and to offer empathy, understanding and respect.

The counsellor’s tone of voice, and the words they choose to greet the client with, will also affect the relationship. Offering the client enough time to collect thoughts and express concerns and difficulties will encourage the client to relax and talk freely. Allowing sufficient delay in responding also gives the client more opportunity to open up further.

Maintaining a Comfortable Relationship

Some clients may be more reluctant than others, when it comes to explaining their difficulties, and counsellors must be aware that these individuals require a sensitive approach. By offering reassurance, empathy and genuineness, clients will become more comfortable in a counselling environment. Engaging the client is only possible once they are sufficiently relaxed and comfortable.

Using open-ended questions also encourages a response from a client, and should form a major part of the counselling script.

Seeking Advice

The relationship between a counsellor and client is based on a one-sided discussion. It is the counsellor’s job to actively listen and gently challenge the client, where appropriate. It is not a counsellor’s responsibility to offer advice, unless the client specifically asks for it. Support, understanding and a sympathetic ear is all that a client really wants to receive.

Boundaries

As with any professional relationship the setting of boundaries is important. All relationships should be limited to a therapeutic setting, and all social contact between a counsellor and client should be avoided. A counsellor should also never accept a friend or family member as a client, or enter into a sexual relationship with a current or former client.

These boundaries form part of the contractual agreement between a counsellor and client and must be adhered to at all times.

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Guidance and counseling is the way that CHRIST usrd to soften man's heart and thus should be done in a more divine way getting the principles from the bible on how CHRIST did it.
Festus - 14-Nov-22 @ 7:55 AM
Explain the importance of the following: a. Explaining to counselee the results of test and other diagnostic tools in a comprehensive and constructive manner b. Give accurate information and avoid any misinterpretation or unclear explanations to your colleagues can you help me guys please? Thanks
leo - 23-Oct-20 @ 3:12 PM
Hello Anna Martin Top tips on how to fix a broken relationship! This comment is very useful for law purpose uk solicitor qredible
Aide - 20-Aug-20 @ 1:42 PM
hello. What are the ineffective ways of responding to a client which may hinder the communication process in a client counselor relationship?
Phil - 16-Jul-20 @ 10:46 AM
Its good website for studying about social work can help during studying
Mzee - 25-Jun-20 @ 2:10 PM
Shefali is a first-generation learner in her family. She belongs to a household where her parents barely make ends meet by working minimum-wage jobs, but due to great ambitions for their daughter have managed to educate her well. Because of her hard-work, Shefali gets a scholarship to a big university for an undergraduate degree. However, after a few months, she starts witnessing adjustment problems, isolation due to cultural, familial and class differences. Her parents find it difficult to understand her because of her alien situation and her friends don't relate to her. She sees the college counselor. Illustrate how the counselor can build, work and close this counseling relationship successfully. Use textual material but adapt it to suit the problem at hand and also write activities that the counselor can engage in to make Shefali feel better. Show the trajectory of the couneling procedure (building, working and closing) well. Will you guys please help me solve this?
Himshi - 22-Mar-20 @ 8:09 PM
Hi Please can you help me I am in my Level 3 of Counselling studies My son is Asd struggling at school in interaction with peers i am doing this course to understand better his condition What tactics strategy/ activity can i use to suppirt him more at home Thank you
May - 13-Mar-20 @ 3:51 PM
@Juliewinans - perhaps they could look at the relationship as a business arrangement. If neither of them don't want to divorce each other and one party is not emotionally attached, then there has to be a compromise. Much depends if the other party is emotionally attached and how much the other person is emotionally attached (are they needy, or demanding?)If the other person is then there is an imbalance, but that person has to accept the other person is not emotionally attached and try to work with it or decide they cannot work it.
JacQ - 13-Aug-18 @ 10:07 AM
As a counsellor in trainining how do you help a client who according to him is not emotionally attached to his wife and they both do not want to divorce each other
Juliewinans - 11-Aug-18 @ 5:47 PM
@Tu - Are you interacting with the class? Communication has to be back and forth.
RossN - 4-Dec-17 @ 10:06 AM
Hi, i am working with people who suffer from mental illness as a group work once a week using art as a medium.. I, myself feel like a teacher in front of a class no more than that. What techniques am i lacking ? Many thanks
Tu - 3-Dec-17 @ 2:34 AM
How do i handle a client who is older than me and its like he pretends to be experienced in most of real life situations being that he has been working with the community for a long period.
Dr. Love - 16-Nov-17 @ 11:27 AM
hi i`m currently doing Bed honors in counselling and working on an assignment about the necessity of boundaries in counselling but am a bit stuck, please help
Taps - 26-Sep-17 @ 2:38 PM
If I am a counsellor, unmarried am I not allowed to marry a client who fall in love with me?
Professor - 4-Sep-17 @ 6:22 AM
How you will overcome he obstacles to effective counselling?
Paulina - 10-Aug-17 @ 1:05 PM
How can I get the Counsellors guide? I am a registered counsellor starting my private practice in 2017 because I was a permanent employee and could not practice.
Dlemie - 3-Jun-17 @ 8:51 AM
I need help, my relationship is killing me.
Aalia - 14-May-17 @ 2:41 PM
Hey, I'm Doing Diploma in Psychology.. I have a Questionif i have a client who is very coperatiive & very friendly. Oneday the client Inviting me for a personal relationship. What Should A counselor do in such situation? What are the ethics boundaries to follow ? Help me please
Cemile - 11-Apr-17 @ 5:02 PM
Hey,i want to know the issues that surround upholding and breaking the agreement between the counselor and the client
roxy - 3-Feb-17 @ 6:19 AM
Hey, I'm Doing Diploma in Psychology.. I have a QuestionSuppose if i have a client who is very coperatiive & very frndly. Oneday the client Inviting me for a personal relationship. What Should A Coucellor Do in this situation? What are the ethics boundaries to follow ? Help me out pleaseee !
Princess Qatar - 4-Jan-17 @ 1:52 PM
How can I safely use previous client case experience to support a new client without breeching confidentiality Thanks
Elle - 1-Jan-17 @ 6:15 PM
Hi, I am doing my diploma in counselling and stuck on a question about challenges that i would experience with a client that is trying to find a relationship.
linda - 14-Dec-16 @ 9:19 AM
Hello!want to know more about defense mechanisms.
The Remnant Soldier - 11-Dec-16 @ 8:52 AM
I cannot find psychotherapy long term on the NHS, but been offered counselling.Ive tried it before but they are out of their depth in just a few sessions, as my issues are deep seated and complex stemming back from forty years ago.As this is all I can get for almost free then Im about to embark on it tomorrow.I have no money as on benefits, so this is it or nothing. I feel hopeless, this person won't be a trained psychoanalyst...I did explain this on the phone to the receptionist but she just said 'try it'.Sigh.... :(Sick of wasting time seeing counsellors, and find they are useless.
SilverJay - 17-Nov-16 @ 5:59 PM
I WANT TO GET NOTES CONCERNING COUNSELLING FROM ANYONE.
Trust - 4-Nov-16 @ 10:46 AM
Sherry77 - Your Question:
Yes I would recommend following a CPCAB course in counselling because it is integrative. We learn about all theories and not one specific one which is beneficial because every client will be unique therefore requiring different approaches.Im currently studying Level 4 at Synergie Counselling in Hayes (West London) and they are brilliant because of the content of the course, the tutors, and its in a real counselling setting as they are an agency.Hope this helps people out there who were thinking of becoming a counsellor.Good Luck.

Our Response:
Many thanks for your comments I'm sure they will help our readers.
TheCounsellorsGuide - 23-May-16 @ 12:19 PM
Yes I would recommend following a CPCAB course in counselling because it is integrative.We learn about all theories and not one specific one which is beneficial because every client will be unique therefore requiring different approaches. Im currently studying Level 4 at Synergie Counselling in Hayes (West London) and they are brilliant because of the content of the course, the tutors, and its in a real counselling setting as they are an agency. Hope this helps people out there who were thinking of becoming a counsellor. Good Luck.
Sherry77 - 22-May-16 @ 3:48 PM
What if counselling did not help the individual, what other ways could you suggest for that person?
Tbaby - 5-Nov-15 @ 8:27 PM
I'm writing a project on the comparison of individual and group counselling in tackling students poor academic performance. But I'm stuck
bisky - 24-Oct-15 @ 11:45 AM
Tpotty - Your Question:
I'm doing level 3, counselling and am a little bit stuck with the importance of boundary setting and how it keeps the client safe and supported, can you help demystify pls??

Our Response:
I'm afraid you would have to speak to your tutor about this. He/she can explain how to best answer the set question.
TheCounsellorsGuide - 19-Oct-15 @ 11:23 AM
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