Contrary to popular belief counselling is not about letting another person talk for hours whilst you sit and nod your head from time to time. It is not a suitable career for many people – those who actively seek instant rewards or gratification, or anyone who does a job simply for financial gain. Counselling is a profession that attracts people who have a developed understanding of themselves, a higher level of empathy and the basic desire to help other people.
Successfully counselling other people requires that you have a combination of traits and skills that enable you to provide the level of counselling that the individual seeks.
Ideal Traits
You must have the ability to offer appropriate advice in a manner that another person can comfortably understand. In order to do this effectively you must be able to acknowledge the way in which your advice is accepted. For instance, does the person respond well to positive reinforcement or direct blunt-ness? Being in tune with the person you are counselling increases the level of confidence they have in your skills, and in you as a counsellor.
If you are sensitive to the needs, feelings and problems of others you will find that this natural trait provides you with a positive advantage. Being comfortable with emotional issues is the foundation from which your own personal skills can grow. Being able to focus your full attention on someone seeking advice, or counselling, will encourage that person to open up to you. To do this effectively you must be able to make them feel that they are important to you, even though you may have only recently been introduced. You must also be non-judgemental.
The ability to empathise with other people is a trait that may people fail to explore. Empathy is something that everyone has, in varying degrees. Some people possess only a basic understanding, whilst others can feel the mood of another person with ease. The more experiences you have personally gone through in your own life, the easier you will find it to relate to another person’s way of thinking, mood or personality. Understanding your own life experiences, whilst acknowledging other new experiences, will enable you provide effective, supportive counselling.

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Clock-watching is not a particularly positive trait. In most environments it can be tolerated or modified. In a counselling situation however, your complete focus must be on the other person at all times. You cannot build rapport and trust if you are the type of person who is constantly actively thinking whilst listening to someone else. Counselling requires that you temporarily give up your own thoughts in order to focus on the needs of another person.
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You Are the Right Man/Woman For the Job if:
- You enjoy helping other people and have the ability to empathise with, and care for another person.
- You have a good level of personal understanding and life experiences from which you can draw from.
- You are able to actively listen and put the welfare of another person at the top of your list of daily priorities. You are also non-judgemental.
- You are able to build rapport and trust with ease, and have confidence in your own personal abilities, as well as an understanding of a wide range of personal experiences and issues.
I do use my counselling skills on a daily basis as I am a member of the Post Adoption Team in Northamptonshire. I work primarily with vulnerable adults all of which have/are experiencing loss. These include biological families who have lost their children through adoption and adopters who have experienced loss through their experiences of infertility.
I also work with biological families who have/are experiencing mental health difficulties, anxiety, depression, post traumatic stress disorder and abuse. I am interested in becoming a voluntary counsellor and would appreciate some advice.
Many thanks.
Thank you and I am looking forward to hearing from you.
With kind regards
Mila
Sharon
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