Attending Skills

In order to build a firm foundation in any supportive or caring client-counsellor/therapist relationship strong, clearly defined attending skills must be in evidence. These are skills that require being in attendance in the present, in any situation, and means that a counsellor is giving their full attention, and listening, to the client at all times.

The Meaning of Attending

Attending means being in the company of someone else and giving that person your full attention, to what they are saying or doing. In a one-to-one counselling relationship this is the supportive service that a counsellor must provide. Failure to do this will mean the client is not being supported fully, and may not feel able to disclose or make progress.

Attending also means a counsellor must pay attention to everything a client says and does. This includes reading the client’s body language and also taking into consideration all the silences and pauses in the conversation. Actively listening not only conveys information, but also encourages the client to continue talking.

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How to Attend

To begin and maintain attendance a counsellor must first welcome the client warmly. Making him/her feel comfortable, in the counselling environment, will make the client feel more relaxed about disclosing personal information about their emotions, feelings and thoughts. By maintaining eye contact with the client, a counsellor shows they value what the client has to say. Looking at the client, as they speak, also shows the counsellor is respectful.

A counsellor should also be aware of the tone of their voice, during time in the client’s presence. Slowing down speech will make the client feel more relaxed and less rushed. It will convey that the counsellor has adequate time to listen to the client’s problems and concerns. The counsellor’s facial expressions must also convey interest and comprehension.

Tracking, or following the flow of what the client is saying, is a key skill that the counsellor must also be confident demonstrating. Without the ability to do this a counsellor will not be able to provide the level of supportive service a counselling client requires.

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Selective Attending

By selective attending a counsellor is choosing to pay particular close attention to an element of what is being said by the client. The counsellor may decide to focus on the way the client is speaking – whether they are displaying distress, discomfort, anger etc – or on a particular phrase or sentence.

A counsellor may be listening out for clues to why the client exhibits a particular behaviour pattern or holds limiting beliefs, or any number of other things. It is the counsellor’s job to gather as much information about a client as possible, and to interpret the disclosure so that they can support and encourage the individual through the counselling process.

Focus Control

Controlling your focus can sometimes be difficult. We are all open to outside distractions and can momentarily lose our concentration and focus. Attending requires that a counsellor’s physical and psychological attention is directed at the client for the whole duration of the one-to-one counselling session.

The Next Step

Now that you have read through the advice above, you might want to put it into practice. Our Counselling Approach Finder lets you describe what a client brings to you and find out which counselling approach is most evidence based for their situation. Try it now →