What Makes a Good Counsellor?
Counselling covers a broad range of specialisms. Some counsellors work with couples and families, others focus on addiction, trauma, bereavement, or stress and anxiety. Despite these different areas, certain personal qualities tend to run through the profession.
A good counsellor can offer genuine empathy and support without judgement. They create a space where clients feel heard and understood. This can seem straightforward, yet it demands significant personal engagement from the counsellor.

Describe what a client brings to you and find out which counselling approach is most evidence based for their situation.
Try our Counselling Approach Finder free, here on this site →More Than Just Listening
People sometimes assume counselling is mostly about listening while someone talks through their problems. Listening is certainly part of it, but there is more involved.
A counsellor needs to pick up on what a client is really saying, sometimes reading between the lines. They must help translate worries and feelings into something the client can work with, often by identifying practical goals or new ways of thinking.
This requires a combination of skills: empathy, patience, the ability to challenge someone gently when needed, and enough flexibility to adapt your approach to different people. Some clients need encouragement. Others need space to sit with difficult emotions. Determining the appropriate response in each unique situation requires both intuition and experience.
Your situation may be slightly different. ask a question below ↓ and our editorial team will reply with our advice.
Honest Self Reflection
Before starting counsellor training, it is worth taking time to think honestly about whether the work suits you. Not everyone is cut out for it, and that is perfectly fine.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Do you find it easy to listen without jumping in with advice or solutions?
- Can you sit with someone else's distress without feeling overwhelmed or trying to fix things immediately?
- Are you comfortable with silence during a conversation?
- Do you tend to withhold judgement, even when someone's choices differ from your own?
- Can you keep your own emotions in check while still being warm and present?
- Are you open to examining your own assumptions and biases?
- Do you cope reasonably well with emotional pressure over time?
There are no right or wrong answers here. The objective is to gain insight into your current aptitude and areas for growth. Consider discussing these questions with a mentor or colleague to gain additional perspective. Some of these qualities can be developed through training and supervised practice. Others may come more naturally to you already.
Training, Ethics and Support
If you decide to pursue counselling as a career, formal training will help you build the skills you need. Courses vary in length and approach, from introductory certificates to diploma level qualifications. Several professional bodies set standards and accredit training programmes in the UK, including the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP), and the National Counselling Society (NCS).
Training typically includes supervised placements where you work with real clients under guidance. This hands on experience is where many trainees discover whether the work feels right for them. You will also need to understand the ethical frameworks that govern counselling practice, covering areas such as confidentiality, boundaries, and professional conduct.
Ongoing supervision is required throughout a counsellor's career, providing accountability and space to process the emotional demands of the job. Many training courses also strongly recommend personal therapy. Practising under a recognised professional body and meeting continuing professional development requirements are standard expectations in the field.
Self care is equally important. Counsellors need strategies to manage their own mental health given the weight of what they hear in sessions.
If you are considering this path, take your time. Speak to practising counsellors if you can. Look into different training routes and think carefully about whether you have the emotional resources to sustain this kind of work over the long term.
I want to know what qualifications need to become counsellor?
I’m good at listening to others and their hardships, always good with online people. I learned many different things from online people eg marriage, divorce etc.
They’re probably actually not thinking anything at all about me, and if they are, well they are :-) and if they’re not, then I think they will be successful as I hope I am..
I'm currently off work as I feel too anxious to go back onto the wards - however, my longing is to retrain as a counsellor and has been for a while. I'm thinking of taking some time out to reconsider my options and am currently doing quite a lot of research. Would it be worth my while and would I stand a chance of getting on a course in my local area? As well as bereavement, I've witnessed domestic violence as a child and also my Dad has a chronic mental health condition - I'm his main carer.
I have suffered anxiety for most of my life due to my traumatic childhood and wonder if I can use my life experience to help others.
CPCAB ACCREDITED. Would this be a good place to start? TIA
I am great at braking things down and learning to understand people and reasonings behind their actions. I am a very sensitive person and I can empathise with almost anyone. Their isn’t much I haven’t already been through so when people open up to me, I am able to feel their pain and understand them probably more than anyone with a degree. I am great at solving problems and I do this from sharing my life experiences too and how I managed to deal with all the stress and worries of the world. I am also an open book and don’t believe that only my way works. I feel quite spiritual in some ways and sensitive to feelings.
I’m not academically clear and I don’t learn that way. I learn from things that have happened and also from being hands on or being shown something.
I would love to help others, I already do with people online. But I would love to be a counsellor as a career too. What would be my best options to becoming a counsellor please? Would I have to study for years? I really struggle with reading and writing.
Thank you
Any help would be much appreciated x
I don't know if I'm good to go
Here I have a question to ask please?
Is it still possible to study counselling (presently on advanced with BSY)
Whilst I’m in counselling myself for personnal reasons?
I have all the qualities required with a great understanding to many areas of this subject.
Personally I would like to give something back to society with the knowledge and wisdom I have gained over the years.
I am 50 and the reason I have put my age is simply having read some posts here, with age concerns.
Very inspirational and I also say, it’s never too late.
Thank you and look forward to feedback x
I am a 19 year old male and have always wanted to persue a career in counciling, I have a passion for phycology and wish to use that passion to help others. My only concern is my age. How old would you say is old enough to be able to start a career in this field? I would like to specialize in mental illness.
Thank you
Ask The Counsellors Guide a question
Ask our editorial team a question and we will reply with our advice. Tell us as much about your situation as you can: the more detail you give, the more useful our answer can be.
You do not need to use your real name. Please do not include your full address, phone number, email address, or the names of other people. We may edit or remove identifying details for privacy and legal reasons.
Comments are moderated before publication.